My cup runneth over

People tell you lots of things before you become a mother. “Get sleep while you can… You’ll end up having the epidural, you may as well just go ahead and get it… You can forget about having a clean house… blah, blah, blah!”  They tell you good things too, of course.  “There’s nothing like it, la, de, dah.”  There are plenty of things they just can’t quite put into words for you though.  Each woman has her own unique pregnancy and birth experience.  All I can say as advice to any expectant mother is, your experience will be your own.  It will be the hardest, yet most rewarding thing you ever do.  I know it was for me.   

Birthing Landon was certainly the hardest, most terrible thing I’ve ever had to do, but it was absolutely, without a doubt the most blessed and beautiful thing I have ever done.  I not only got to meet my long anticipated, beautifully healthy and perfect baby boy, but my relationship with Christ and my marriage grew even stronger through the experience.  I don’t know how people without faith make it through, because God was with me the entire time.  I know this for a fact.  Had I not been fervently praying through the early and middle stages of labor, there’s no way I would have made it to the end without an epidural… or passing out, one or the other!  I wouldn’t have wanted anyone other than Chris by my side that day, and I don’t know if I would have made it through the very long day without him constantly with me.  You think you love your husband a lot, but when you deliver a baby with him, that love grows by leaps and bounds!  Chris was my strength, my rock, my solid place.   

I get emotional even as I type this to remember how special that time was.  While for most of the 19 hour ordeal I was in no shape for conversation or even opening my eyes (I was in my zone big time!), Chris was as steady as I could have ever asked for.  Every time a contraction came, he was my strength.  I grabbed his hands, and tried to relax as much as possible as I breathed through them and prayed hard… very hard!  Chris never waivered, and was there for every single contraction.  At one point, he was squeezing my hands harder than I was squeezing his! (Emotions run high).

I am a very blessed and lucky woman.  I have a loving and supportive husband who was and is with me every step of the way.  I had a fairly easy pregnancy (besides the heart burn that made me feel like someone constantly had a blow torch in my esophagus, and occasionally made me believe I was going to hurl up my breakfast before I could finish it).  I had absolutely no complications.  I felt pretty good after the first trimester. (I just learned to live with the heartburn.)  I think in some ways the heart burn was a bit of a blessing, because I certainly couldn’t eat much, and it kept me from gaining too much weight.  I gained about 30 pounds when I was pregnant with Landon; about average I guess.  

Not only was my pregnancy manageable, but I was certainly blessed with a very healthy, easy-going and happy baby.  (Every baby has their moments, but Landon really is a happy baby!)  The first week I was in zombie mode and he slept like a little angel, which allowed me to catch up as much as possible and for my body to heal.  Through that time, Chris fixed me every meal.  Breastfeeding turns you into a fattening hog!  I felt like I could eat a horse at every meal, and everything I ate tasted like the best thing I ever put in my mouth!  Even stuffing my face every time I woke up, I dropped every pregnancy pound, plus a few within two weeks. Breastfeeding does a body good!  

Now that Landon is going on four months… I can still stand by my saying he’s a good and happy baby. On most days, he wakes up with a huge sweet gummy smile.  He talks and laughs and plays with us, will sit in his high chair in the kitchen while I cook and clean, and can entertain himself long enough during his awake times that I can get work done when I need to.  And when I’m not working on anything other than bonding and snuggling my little monkey, he looks at me with adoration that I’m certain only a mother receives from her babies. My heart literally feels like it is bursting and overflowing with love sometimes.  

I will never forget when they laid him on my chest at the hospital all new, soft and warm, and he looked up at me with those big blue eyes with such a calm and peaceful expression.  Like he just knew he was where he was meant to be. Or the first time he really smiled, or the first time he uttered a sound, or the first time that sweet little pudgy hand reached up and touched my face, and the grin that came along with it as he discovered how to reach and use his hands!  Or… the first time he slept through the night, which was a mixture of joy and fear!  

Motherhood has so far been the best thing I have ever experienced!  I know now why people say they are afraid they won’t have enough love for another child, because you feel like your heart can’t contain any more.  I am certain, however, that when the day comes (a few years down the road) and Landon gets a little brother or sister, my heart will just grow a little bigger to hold all the love that comes alone with another baby.  For now, Landon’s free to take up as much space as he needs. ;-)